Nicole Upshur’s Testimony
I spent most of my life living for myself. I was a prodigal for most of my life.
I got saved when I was in kindergarten. I was young, but I know it was real. I did love Jesus, but I didn’t have much of an understanding of what that meant.
Starting from a young age I was obsessed with the idea of a perfect relationship, a perfect kiss, falling in love etc. It truly became my obsession. I was also shy, which I believe God used that as a tool to spare me from many different men and relationships.
In my late 20s and throughout my 30s I had two different relationships with men that I simply could not let go of. I felt trapped and in bondage with both of these relationships.
I know what it feels like to not be able to let go.
I have never been addicted to drugs or alcohol, but I understand what being in bondage feels like, feeling trapped.
Following your feelings is no joke! There’s a reason that God warns us about it. The heart is deceitful ABOVE ALL ELSE.
God graciously delivered me from ALL of that! I prayed for years, and in His perfect timing He freed me. He also had to let me get to a place where I truly despised where I was in my life. Otherwise I believe I would have kept going back. I was released from everything. Within a year my entire life changed completely, in the best ways possible!
I need to be clear when I say it didn’t magically happen. I had to make a choice. Difficult decisions that i put off for years.
I had to let go of people, things, emotions… it is a hard thing to let go of what we KNOW we should let go of. In the end it harms us and others so much more than needed.
It was the best year, but also a rough year emotionally. I asked Jesus to heal certain wounds and He did. There were many painful nights I lie awake crying because it hurt to let Him heal the emotions and wounds. I had to be open and vulnerable and give Him all access. Let me tell you it hurts for a short time, but it’s worth it to be healed so that now I can be used to help others.
I am constantly grateful of what my Father has done for me! I’m no longer in that place, I no longer look back.
He has blessed me with the most wonderful godly husband and our son, Solomon David.
I get to pray for this baby every single day that My life is beyond full! God gave me a promise several years ago (Luke 1:45) that He would be giving me a child. My life was in complete upheaval at the time, and although I did not know how that would happen I did completely trust and believe God.
He did this for a complete and utter wretch that lived most of my life fulfilling my own fleshly desires! He has not given me what I truly deserve!
See what He can change in your life if you let Him!! It took acts of obedience on my part. This isn’t just a “Fix me, Lord “, and then sit back and do nothing. It is an active faith, but NOTHING IS BETTER!
Even though life is hard a lot of the time, what Jesus has done for us and how I get to live my life glorifying HIM makes everything worth it.
I pray that He uses to to help other women that feel broken, lost, or trapped.
In the meantime, I have the honor to be a wife and a mom.
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.
Ephesians 3:20
I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
Psalm 34:4
So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
John 8:36